12/10/2006: "Hey everybody!"

Hey everybody! Sawyer here, glad to know you. Please forgive any typos, I have gigantic Maine Coon paws and so typing is a little hard. In fact, I think I’ll have my staff type for me as I dictate. Yeah, that’s a great idea, frees me up to wreak havoc.

So a little about me. I’ve been here at Hill Creek for about ten months now. As I mentioned, I’m a Maine Coon cat. I have a polyp in my ear. It’s not hurting me, but it makes me prone to ear infections. The doctors here are going to fix me up. We Maine Coons are a hearty bunch; once I’m all grown I’ll weigh about 25 pounds. This is good, because I’ve got some scores to settle with the staff here once I get a little weight on. Particularly that one doctor, I think Tugger called her the Lap. Speaking of Tugger, I read through his blog one night when I was bored. He sounds like a good guy, wish I could’ve known him. I think he’d have made an awesome wing-man on my adventures. Everyone here says I’ve got big paws to fill now that Tugger’s gone. That confuses me, as I have enormous paws. Seriously, have you seen the paws on a Siamese? I wonder if they bind their paws when they’re kittens…

So where was I? Ah yes, settling scores. I’d rather not share details, but they know who they are. Necessary vaccines my paw-they just like shooting us up with harpoons! And if they don’t want me to sample the treats, why do they leave them out for me? And if they don’t want me to kill the snakes (I believe you humans call them leashes) why do they hang them on hooks so invitingly? They set me up, I tell you.

Gotta go for now, I see an unguarded stethoscope (they’re so tasty, especially the parts that go in the doctors’ ears).